So, here we are, ten incredible, highlight-filled months later. Ten months of wanting to stay longer while simultaneously looking forward to the next stop. It certainly doesn’t feel that long, even if certain days felt like they lasted an eternity (freezing in Patagonia, for example, or the ear infection, for another). In less than a week, I will be back in the office. I’m on my last layover before touching down in Berlin, so a good moment to capture how I’m feeling.

The TL;DR version

It was beautiful if not life-changing, though I expect I need a few months to fully process. And while I’m ready to be settled in one spot, I expect the transition “back to reality” might be a bit messy. Let’s see!

Why I’m looking forward to going back

Apart from two weeks in Italy, I haven’t spent more than five consecutive days in a single lodging. And about two months of that, the bikepacking stuff, was moving everyday. That’s exhausting; it caught up with me at the end of the US trip and hasn’t really let go, which means I’m very much looking forward to being in one spot and not living out of a suitcase. I am also somehow tired of missing my lady friend; it’s been too long, for far too long. But I’m grateful for this, because it’s a good counterweight to the other side…

Why I don’t want to go back

I can’t imagine not traveling, let alone going back to work. I define myself to an ever-decreasing extent on the basis of professional accomplishments. My memories are filled with people and places, not resume bullet points. So this 10 months, call it 43 weeks, could roughly be compared to seven years of vacations. And that’s how it feels, like I’m the Flash and have lived seven years in the past ten months, like the earth spins faster while I’m traveling. And thinking about being back in Berlin and working, I think about that perceived inertia I have and how it’ll instantly slow down, sending me catapulting into a brick wall. I could have given myself a couple weeks in Berlin to adjust, a rock rolling down a mountain and slowing to a gradual stop as the slope flattens out. But nope. I chose the cliff and am about to come to a hard stop when I hit the ground. The fact that it’ll be cold, dark, and gray also doesn’t help.

Accordingly, I am mentally preparing myself to get depressed. I’ve talked to a few folks along the way, as well as friends who were away for similar lengths of time, and they all had some difficulty adjusting. I like my job more than any of them seemed to, so that’ll definitely help, but still…prepare for the worst, hope for the best!

Trying to digest the trip

Because it’s so fresh, I haven’t really processed things; I figure that’ll take at least a few months. That said, I can look back at the expectations I set for the trip and see how those worked out.

I don’t expect to:

• Want to change careers
  • True, but see next section
• Become more mature
  • Think the ship has sailed on this one!
• Suddenly want to do world tours every year, nor have my thirst for adventure completely quenched
  • I’m done for the time being, but am already looking forward in five or ten years’ time to do 6-12 months in Asia
• “Find” myself
  • Nope. Either I’m not lost, or I gotta keep looking ;)
• Change my overall world view
  • Nope, though that would have been nice!

I do expect to:

• Have more energy for work when I’m back, but want to spend less time doing it
  • At least half credit, as the latter half is 100% true. Hard to imagine going to back to a normal job, no matter how much I like it. I do fully expect to be less susceptible to stress at work though…hopefully I’m right!
• Want to spend more time in nature (really going out on a limb here, I know)
  • Surprisingly, not really. Nothing has really changed here. Love nature, but love dynamic cities too.
• Actually undertake one of the side projects I’ve long tossed about in my head (when I’m back)
  • Absolutely. I’ve now made a bet with a friend that if I don’t finish a project in the next three years, he gets to punch me in the stomach. Obviously not more mature!
• Value the people in my life even more
  • Also very true. Having my closest friends & family together for my 40th just reinforced this, in case traveling alone for nearly four months wasn’t enough
• More strongly consider a temporary move elsewhere in the EU (like Amsterdam)
  • Yup. Feel an itch. But no pressure.
• Expand my comfort zone or ability to tolerate discomfort
  • Haha. Yes, and then some. Not gonna forgot the darker moments on the bikepacking trip anytime soon.
• Think a lot about what my next career could be
  • Kinda. More focused on the side projects, but if they went well, who knows. Most likely option: try to do something with writing

So, final word

I’m both lucky and grateful to have been able to do this, and thankful that I only had a few minor speed bumps along the way. If you’ve made it this far, ten months on and fully down the page, thanks for following along!

(The sabbatical riding off into the sunset)